Hey guys, thought I might as well post this. Its my first attempt at posting something like this and well english isn't my native language so please look past the grammar and spelling mistakes. The orcs just talk like dat okay? Anyhow this is a batttlereport, about a battle I played a couple of days ago against an opponent who plays dwarfs as well as greenskins. He kindly lended me the goblin wolf chariot, so we could play a 500 point battle. I hope you enjoy it, since I prefer to write these things up as a small story instead of a dry summary of what moved where etc.

 Gruzlug looked at his small but growing warband.

‘Alright boyz, lissen up. We is going to stomp da stunty town up ahead. And as part of our cunnin’ plan we have let dem know we is coming, so we can stomp em real good!’ We is going to stomp dem stunty defenders first by chargin straight at dem!

The boyz cheered and started chanting Gruzlugs name, while the goblins looked a bit disappointed hoping da plan would have involved surprise instead of a head on approach. ‘Okay, so you lot lissen up, here is how we is gonna stomp em hard. Youse youse and youse go with da chariot, youse youse youse youse and youse go with dem wolves. You boyz over dere go with dem boarz and da rest of you go stomp in wiv me! We is gonna charge em hard and stomp em hard.’

Meanwhile a mile out from the dwarf town, the dwarfs were busy setting up their defences against the Orc raid that was to come. The dwarfs had brought their famous gunpowder weapons and crossbows with them hoping to seriously tarry the advance of the greenskin before they would crash into the lines. A small contingent of warriors was also rallied from a nearby gaurdpost, who would try and finish of the last greenskins in melee.

Gruzlug could feel the anticipation growing amongst his fellow greenskin as they started marching. The wolfriders were trying to get in position to make a flanking manoeuvre on the dwarf line, and on the other flank the…. “ARGH!’’ Gruzlug shouted in frustration as he saw the boarboyz on the left bickering amongst themselves instead of following “da plan”. The goblin wolf chariot was trying to manoeuvre past the boyz but there was too little room and it was stuck sitting there as well.

Wolfriders on the far right! Shouted one of the quarrellers who were positioned on a hill overlooking the field. Quickly the crossbowmen readied their crossbows and took aim at the wolfriders. A flurry of bolts went off and three of the five wolf riders were felt. They could see the remaining two wolfriders panic and flee as their comrades went to the ground. That’s one thing less to worry about lads! Meanwhile the dwarf thunderers at the base of the hill shot at the bickering boarboyz, with their gunpowder weapons but failed to hit any. The dwarf warrior block waited for the inevitable charge.

Stupid gobbo’s is useless, Gruzlug muttered to himself, as he saw the wolfriders panic and flee. At least dem boarboyz woke up, thanks to dem stunty shots. The greenskin line advanced once more, this time with the boarboyz flying forward towards the dwarven lines with a WAAAGH!!! Battlecry. Good we is makin’ progress, Gruzlug thought to himself.

However the dwarfs saw the boarboyz coming for their lines as well, and the crossbowmen quickly unleashed a flurry of bolts at the boyz, one of the bolts managed to go straight into the thick skull of a boarboy who subsequently went down to the ground. The dwarven thunderers who realized they would probably get charged if they didn’t inflict serious casualties upon the boarboyz took their shots with well aimed precision, managing to slay three more boarboyz. Gruzlug roared in anger as he saw the remaining boarboy turn tail and flee. With a big deep intake of air the warboss let loose his bellow.

WAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

In return the boyz around him and the goblins in the chariot let loose their WAAAGH!!! warcry as well and the air started crackling with green energy, while Gruzlug and his boyz, as well as the chariot charged the dwarf warriors. The chariot was first to arrive in the dwarf ranks and managed to smash three stunties to pulp, due to its tremendous impact. Gruzlug and the boyz fell upon the ranks of the dwarfs afterwards. A challenge arose from the dwarf line as the leader of the dwarfs stepped forward demanding to fight the biggest and meanest greenskin. Gruzlug, rode forward upon his boar, heading straight towards the stunty leader.

You’se want to fight da biggest? I am da biggest!!! Gruzlug shouted as he swung his axe at the head of the dwarf. The dwarf managed to duck underneath it, but Gruzlugs followup attack managed to hit home and made a deep cut in the dwarfs swordarm. The dwarf let out a cry in pain but managed to deflect another blow from Gruzlugs mighty axe. Gruzlugs boar tried to gore the dwarf as well, but was so blinded with rage that he only managed to scoop up some dirt. The dwarf leader tried to wound the big hulking black orc, but all his blows were easily swept aside by the black orc warboss.

Seeing their boss wound the dwarf leader, the rest of da boyz and the goblins in the chariot fell upon their enemy with increased vigor, managing to slay another four dwarfs. The dwarfs, who usually aren’t very afraid even when taking heavy losses, decided this was far too much for them to handle and turned tail, however the Greenskin warband pursued them and cut them down to the last man. With Gruzlug getting some extra cheers for handily decapitating the dwarf leader. 

The dwarf crossbowmen and handgunners trembled when they saw their comrades being cut down and turned to make a last stand against the greenskins who would fall upon them next. Get dem last stunties, Gruzlug bellowed as his boyz turned around to charge the dwarf thunderers. The dwarfs unleashed a hail of bolts and bullets upon Gruzlug and his boyz, but by luck or the hand of Mork or Gork none of their weapons hit home. Meanwhile the goblin chariot reared around to charge the dwarf thunderers in the flank. The dwarf quarrellers managed to unleash another hail of bolts upon the orcs, that were surging towards them slaying a single Orc. The dwarfs threw away their handguns and grabbed their handweapons ready to defend their lives. However the greenskins smelling a sound victory cut down the dwarfs with ease, and the few remaining dwarfs tried to flee but were cut down as well.

In the meantime the chariot had made its impact upon the dwarf quarrellers managing to squash a grand total of seven dwarfs, the goblins filled with laughter about their success, ran down the remaining dwarfs swiftly.

Dat was a good fight boyz! Now lets loot dem stunty corpses and den chop their town! The boyz whooped and cheered while they started to remove valuables and weapons from the dwarf corpses strewn about. Meanwhile the boarboy and the wolfriders sneakily returned to the warband, making sure not to get noticed by da boss.